Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bad Timing

Timing is everything. Life requires good timing. I have realized over and over again that I have depressingly bad timing. Maybe this is what made me a such a lousy athlete. I jump before the ball arrives, I kick after the ball is gone, I slide into home after the catcher steps on the plate. Can't quite connect at the right time.

There's also the awkwardness that comes from saying something at the wrong time, or walking into the room at the wrong time... you just wish with all you are that you could take it back, try again later... or, if it was bad enough... never again.

Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could be one of those people with everything together. You know what I mean, the person who is always on time, always looks great, always says the right thing and always in a mutually adoring relationship. Why do things always work out SO perfectly for this person? Why am I a step behind... or two or three?

Bad timing seems to be my life story with relationships in particular. I'm interested, he's not. He's pursuing, I'm running away. I've fallen hard, he's changed his mind. Never on the same page. Always bad timing.

But wait... could it be possible that my "bad timing" was actually the perfect timing? That it only appeared like bad timing because I couldn't see around the corner? Because I wasn't aware of the bigger picture, of the master plan?

The more I think about it, I am so thankful that my timing has consistently been a little bit off. It has saved me from lots of things that I thought were perfect... but in recollection, I can see would have been nothing short of disastrous. If that relationship I was so sad to see disappear would have worked out, I don't doubt I would be currently dealing with a lot more heartache than I dealt with at that time. If my timing would have went the way I wanted... my life would look very different. I can see now that the "bad timing" in my life was really an answer to prayer. My prayer that nothing happen in my life contrary to God's perfect plan... God's perfect timing.

So maybe... maybe my timing isn't really off at all. Maybe when it feels wrong... it is just the nudge I need to remind me that this is exactly how things are to be in this time. The right time that I seem to be waiting for may take a few more ticks of the clock... a few more turns of the calendar... a few more steps down the road.

It's not fun to go through life feeling off beat or behind. Choose to celebrate the unique timeline of your life. Don't try to fit into the stereotypical mold that people set before you. Next time you think you are a victim of more bad timing... throw out the negative feelings and be thankful. Say, "Thank you. Thank you for overruling my messed up plan and replacing it with something greater than I could ever ask for or imagine."